Making Time for True Relationships

By Stacey Wilson

Six minutes. That was the duration of a phone conversation I just had with my mom. Average, I would say, for the amount of time I usually talk to her in a three-day time period. I could blame this lack of communication on living 650 miles from my parents’ home in South Mississippi, but that would be a lie.

I made the phone call tonight, feeling a little guilty for abruptly, and perhaps even rudely, ending our previous conversation so I could meet a deadline for this very article about relationships. Don’t tell me God doesn’t have a sense of humor.

And He didn’t stop with the comedy act after I hung up the phone. Computer on. Mind focused. Phone rings. It was my friend Kelly who has a knack for recapping recent history in vivid detail. It’s one of her gifts. I literally sit in awe sometimes on the phone with her, listening as she replays a series of events like narrating a movie. Sure, I have a good memory, but I can’t imagine having a mind as alert as Kelly’s.

Anyway, this would probably be a lengthy conversation, and I was tempted to press the “Quiet” button so I could write this article. Not the “Ignore” button because that would have sent her directly to voice mail after only two rings, and she would have known I was avoiding her. (You know when you’re being ignored, and it’s not a fun feeling.)

No, I couldn’t silence or ignore this one. God was already trying to teach me a lesson, and I thought it would be in my best interest to play along with Him. I dove into the conversation with a hearty, “Hey!”

Here’s where we go deeper into the lesson I was learning about relationships that night.

Even though Kelly couldn’t talk very long, she called to tell me about her friend Danielle, just an acquaintance of mine, who had been trying to reach her for several days. Danielle’s dad passed away recently, and she wanted Kelly to know – probably because Kelly would understand since she lost her own dad in 2006. Kelly felt bad for not answering Danielle’s calls, but work and school had stolen the time she needed to call her back.

“Hello, Stacey. Do you get what I’m trying to tell you now?”

God was screaming through the other end of my LG Chocolate.

We may never know what someone is going through, why they’re calling, or what type of day they’ve had. When we screen calls because we’re busy (and I understand that we can’t always answer every phone call), or because we just don’t feel like talking, or when we choose not to call an old friend God has put on our hearts because we’ve had a long day, we could miss opportunities to be big blessings. By building only surface relationships with those around us, we miss chances to make real impacts, lasting or temporary. We need to dig deeper into the lives of our family members and friends, sincerely asking how life is going for them, not just pretending to care about the problems they are facing.

Wouldn’t you rather be the girl who is remembered for her gentle words and compassion, not just for her wit and beauty? I’m not saying those other things are necessarily bad, but sometimes we get so wrapped up in mirroring the sitcom stars and cover girls that we forget about the hurting world around us. To my knowledge, there aren’t many airbrushed divas making lasting, eternal impacts on the lives of people around them – at least not from the magazine stands of a grocery store.

Charles Spurgeon, definitely not an airbrushed diva, but maybe one of the greatest preachers in Christian history, said this: “A good character is the best tombstone. Those who loved you and were helped by you will remember you when forget-me-nots have withered. Carve your name on hearts, not on marble.”

So, let’s carve our names on the hearts around us. Let’s get off those superficial magazine stands and call our moms back – or whomever we’ve cut off recently because the time investment just didn’t jive with our schedules. Let’s offer kindness and compassion to the people God has placed in our lives for a reason. Let’s give them a true relationship.