Waiting rather than Labeling: Listen to your gut about relationships

By Hannah Henderson

As we walked down his street, I couldn’t tell if he was serious, or just joking. Had he really just asked me to be his girlfriend after only a few weeks of talking? I asked, just to clarify, that when he said “Will you go out with me?” that he really meant “Will you be my girlfriend.” When he responded yes, I was awe struck. I mean, I liked this guy, but it was just too soon. I eventually told him exactly what was on my mind, that I didn’t want to rush into things, that I just wanted to take it slow and get to know him better before we put a label on our relationship, and he seemed to understand.

We had been texting for the past two weeks nonstop every day before he asked me, and he would compliment me and tell me I was beautiful and some of the things he would text me would make me look twice; he would just say the sweetest things. But it was almost repetitive. Every night he would say to me “Goodnight beautiful and sweet dreams J,” and don’t get me wrong, for the first couple of nights, I got butterflies, thinking to myself how amazing this guy was, then after a while, it was just like I was expecting it, like it wasn’t spontaneous anymore. The same goes for the compliments. I almost felt like he was complimenting me too much, and I wasn’t getting that same feeling in my stomach when I read the text anymore. It just wasn’t the same.

The day after he had asked me, he texted me and we started talking normally, then I brought up the incident that had happened the day before. I wanted him to understand exactly why I said what I had said, and although saying it over texts seems cowardly, I felt like I needed to tell him ASAP; I didn’t want to play with his feelings if this was what he really wanted. I at least owed that much to him. I tried to make sure that this was what he really wanted. He assured me that I was different from the other girls he had dated (which only lasted for a week or two) and that he had never felt like this fast for a girl before. But I wasn’t convinced. I just didn’t know him well enough, especially considering that when he had asked me, it had only been our third time hanging out together.

I remember when I was younger, and all I could dream about was that moment, when the boy that I liked would ask me to be his and no one else’s, but the truth is, it was really up to me when I wanted to become committed. In my case, I didn’t feel comfortable enough with him, I felt like I barely knew him, and I’m so happy with my decision because after spending more time with him, I realized that he wasn’t the one that I wanted to be with.

All I’m saying is to just give it a little bit of time before you really dive right into things. I know it sounds cliché, but there are plenty of fish in the sea, and you can’t just settle for the one who makes you feel alright. Wait for the one who sweeps you off your feet and makes you get butterflies in your stomach. Those are the people that you can say you truly want to be with.