Anyone But Me’s Nicole Pacent is Anything But Mrs. Smith

Nicole Pacent plays Aster on the web series, "Anyone But Me"

By Michelle Golden

The new hit web-series Anyone But Me’s Nicole Pacent looks like a spitting image of Angelina Jolie. Created by one of the writers and Consulting Producers of The L Word and ThirtySomething, Susan Miller, and independent filmmaker Tina Cesa Ward Anyone But Me introduces a new post 9/11generation struggling with homosexuality, identity, and modern long distance relationships. Pacent flips her freshly salon highlighted brown hair, flashes a Crest-white smile and tells me she has been acting since she could put one foot in front of the other. Placing her Au Bon Pain coffee near her computer, she explains how she was nominated as one of Shewired.com’s 2009 Gay Women of the Year and what it means to her to be a part of Anyone But Me.

“We’ve amassed such a wonderful, small niche following for Anyone But Me,” said the New York University Tisch School of Arts graduate who plays 15- year old Astor, Vivian’s (played by Rachael Hip-Flores) on-screen love.

“I think people really relate to the Vivian and Astor characters and the fact that in that first [SheWired.com] interview when I came out, people were really psyched about it. I guess it’s just not that typical,” says Pacent. “It’s funny to me now because it’s just so second nature for me. I don’t even think about it. I talk about it because it is who I am, and it’s part of my life.”

After coming out publicly to the press as bi-sexual on April 21, 2009, shortly after the release of the first season of the web-series, Pacent has been contacted by devoted fans saying they have been touched by her efforts. “It’s why I act at the end of the day. Besides my own love for it, it is to do something that makes a difference with people.”

As a kid in the early days of her acting career, Pacent often played the little mermaid during recess, always showing admiration for the song, “Part of Your World,” to the point that even to this day, she still relies on it as her audition song. Theater was always something that just “made sense” to Pacent.

“Anything that was theater or music related I just loved. When I watched a movie or went to see a show, I was just completely transfixed,” she said. “I went to see Red Riding Hood when I was seven and all I wanted to do was be red riding hood.”

But the confident and smiling actress reminiscing about her musical production and community theater days on and off the playground actually used to be a little girl scared of coming out to her peers, and more importantly, to herself.

“It’s such a funny idea this whole idea of coming out because if we lived in a world where people didn’t assume that you were straight until proven otherwise, then maybe things would be different. But really you come out everyday to people.”

One would never think that in the middle of a hockey field where practice was being held, someone could have an identity crisis. However, for 15-year-old Pacent it was possible. During a summer afternoon, her and her teammates saw, what they thought, was an attractive-looking guy across the field. A few minutes later they found out that this guy was actually a girl, when he, or rather she, took off a baseball cap to expose a shaved head and a face that had very apparent girl features. That moment was the turning point in Pacent’s awareness of her sexuality. As all the other girls laughed at the idea that they could possibly think this ‘guy’ was “cute,”

Pacent still could not get it out of her head that she still thought the girl was attractive in her eyes.

“I remember looking at her intently and being like, ‘That’s a girl. You know it’s a girl now. Why are you so attracted to her?’ I had to keep on telling myself, you know this is a girl, right?’”

At 15, coming out was a scary process for Pacent. It was different and she did not know anyone her age that identified as gay.

“It was so the other. As soon as it came in my conscience mind that this just might be who I am, I suddenly was alienated in my own head. I became the other that everyone could talk about, and to me, that was very scary. It was scary because it was real.”

Able to relate on a very personal level with her character on Anyone But Me, Pacent says Astor is very confident.

“She’s much more myself now than myself in high school. Myself in high school was a little more Vivian,” says Pacent. After moving from New York City to Westchester, Vivian has to deal with coming out to her peers in a new school and neighborhood and subsequently has a hard time adjusting to that idea while still maintaining her relationship with Astor back at home.

“Sometimes I was comfortable with it and sometimes I wasn’t. In terms of owning to who she is, she is more mature than I was. Astor is the kind of girl that I would date, not necessarily the person I am,” says Pacent.

Performing as Astor on the show makes Pacent think a lot about her identity as an actress, saying that often where people have trouble in acting is where they have trouble in life too. Sometimes during scenes where she needs to become vulnerable, Pacent finds it hard to do so in front of other people when she is not in control. “There have been times in scenes where I’m like, ‘Should I cry in this scene?’ and I found myself so uncomfortable at the idea of crying and I ask myself ‘Is that me being uncomfortable for Astor or me being uncomfortable for me?’

Since coming out to her peers and family, Pacent is finally comfortable forming relationships with other women and not afraid of being judged. The Angelina-look-alike is starring again on the second season of Anyone But Me.

“You know, my ex-girlfriend in the beginning thought I looked like Angelina Jolie but then over time said ‘Yeah I saw it when I first met you, but I don’t see it anymore. You’re just…you.’ That’s what I get from most people. They see it at first and then they don’t see it anymore. I mean it’s an incredible compliment. That woman is outstandingly beautiful. Can’t argue with it.”