by Emily Herring Dunn
In September 2008 Clark and I celebrated our one year anniversary.
We had successfully moved and survived one year of college. Clark was at a job that provided enough for us to live on, and I was working part time at a calling center on campus. We were flying high as newlyweds.
It just wasn’t quite enough.
While I had enjoyed my first year of school, and enjoyed my first year of marriage even more, something was missing.
I had a couple of college friends, but I was still closer with my high school group of girls. I needed girls to escape married life with. I needed girls to talk about boys with. After all, I was still only 19. I needed to be a normal college girl in one way or another.
I decided to rush, meaning I decided to join a sorority.
I had heard great things. My mom was in a sorority and my older sister was in a sorority. It just seemed a natural way to meet girls with the same interests and one major thing in common.
Clark was incredibly supportive. He was making work friends, and he knew I needed girls to hang out with. I think he was glad I was finding something else to do.
I was a bit demanding during our first year because I was so wrapped up in married life.
It happens to all of us. We are so enraptured with the person we’re spending the rest of our lives with that we forget about the other part of our lives.
While Clark is my best friend in the entire world, I needed an estrogen balance. It just took me a year to realize it.
So, I went through rush. I had an extraordinary time. I ended up with a sorority who was very accepting of my marital status.
Most sororities do not want a girl who is already married. I was lucky. I found one that wanted me precisely the way I was.
Girls need girl friends. There’s no way around it. You can spend day in and day out with your boyfriend or husband, but ultimately you need time with girls.
I hadn’t quite figured this out until I had been married for one year. I needed shopping, exercising, movies, coffee, and all the other wonderful things with a female friend. Not Clark.
Don’t get wrong. Clark is my best friend. I can talk to him about everyone and everything… except him.
I needed girls to talk to about him: when we disagreed, when he was wonderful, all of it. I had my sisters, I had my mom, but I needed friends who were in the vicinity.
Balancing was hard. Having time for friends who wanted to constantly do things, and spending time with Clark on top of school, work schedules, and now friends was exhausting. However, it was necessary.
While I wouldn’t say taking the sorority road is for everyone, I would say if you’re married while in college, you need to have girlfriends. Get together for coffee, lunch, manicures, or whatever your style is once a week or so. Get some time away from the home, school, and the husband, and enjoy being a girl.