Me Days My Way

By Laura Blythe

Not having a significant other doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy your youth—all you need are some of your friends and a little imagination! Here are some ideas to get you started:

Spa Night:

Find a friend with a good sized bathroom complete with a tub. Gather a bunch of girls, some make-up, and pampering supplies. Spend the evening doing each other’s nails, make-up and hair, and finish with a silly photo shoot. This type of night gets even better if you make and eat lots of goodies.

Dinner Party:

Grab some of your single guy friends and invite them over for dinner! Everyone can pitch in in the kitchen, whether they help cook or help clean. Afterward, settle in for some movie watching—let the boys pick one flick, and the girls can pick another.

Girl Power Movie Night:

Gather your girlfriends and settle in for an entire evening of movies featuring strong women. This might not be the night to watch endless love stories and romantic comedies, so it might be a good idea to stick to movies like Mulan, Charlie’s Angels, and The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants.

No Date? No Problem! Five ways to have fun being single!

By Christie Chu

Spring is in the air, but just because your friends are pairing off like bunnies, that doesn’t mean you can’t have fun too! Take charge and plan a fabulous ME DAY for yourself! Grab your closest friends and make some memories you won’t have to toss out with dried flowers and old mixed CDs.

Make Some Money

Forget about the lovey-dovey stuff hoopla—get practical this year! Find your inner entrepreneur and put a little cash in your pocket.

Do you cook or play an instrument? Do you have a bike? Can you take care of noisy kids for a couple of hours? Spend this Spring being good to your bank account. Find a talent you can use to benefit someone else’s romantic evening, and capitalize on it by charging a fee for your performance or help.

Start by putting the word out early. Distribute fliers or alert your friends that you’re available to cook a gourmet meal, play some mood music during a romantic dinner at home, or let local parents know you’re willing to babysit. You can even offer to professionally wrap and deliver gifts.

Play Secret Cupid

Get a group together and make an ironclad no-date pact. Write each person’s name on a piece of paper, shuffle them up, and have everyone choose one. (You know how Secret Santa works!)

Then go all out in creating a fabulous day for the person whose name you’ve chosen. Give them little gifts, bake goodies and decorate their dorm room. Make it good—try to outdo all your other friends’ boyfriends! You don’t have to spend a lot of money, but your efforts should show your friend you put a lot of thought into making a day wonderful for her.

Encourage everyone to get creative! Let all participants know that halfhearted attempts will not be tolerated. Make a scrapbook of memories for your best friend or coupons for an afternoon of makeovers and soft pretzels at the mall. Present guy friends with more masculine or sports-themed gifts like cookies frosted to look like baseballs or soccer balls.

Make all those couples sigh over their clichéd gifts while you and your friends speculate excitedly about who your Secret Cupid is. At the end of the day, get together and have everyone describe their Secret Cupid gifts—then vote on whose Secret Cupid was the best. Have a prize for the Cupid who wins!

Create Your Own “v”Harmony

Ever thought that you would be a great matchmaker? This Spring is a great opportunity to launch your own blind-dating service!

Offer to set up a no-pressure date for the first five girls and five guys that sign up. (Hint: Keep the number of applications you accept small so you’ll be sure to fill the quota.) Have each person fill out applications about their hobbies, favorite movies, where they’re from and more. Then match up the pairs, putting those with similar interests together.

Decide in advance who will be paying—either the guys or the girls—and let that group know to bring along some money. Keep it a small amount, no more than $20, so it’ll be affordable. The location you choose for the date should be appropriate for the amount of money you ask them to bring. Let the second group know they’ll be treated to a fun evening out!

Have everyone meet at your house, dorm lobby, the local coffee shop or the ice cream place on campus and introduce each person to their date for the evening. Order pizza or grab dessert, then start up the group games so the couples won’t feel compelled to make hours of small talk.

Stick around to ensure the night goes smoothly and watch the sparks fly! If things work out, you’ll have happy couples indebted to you. If not, well, maybe you shouldn’t major in matchmaking!

Harness Your Passion

If you’re angry over an ex-boyfriend or bummed about an unrequited crush, channel that angst into productive, creative passion. Take advantage of the fact that distractions will be at a minimum with all the couples out to pricey dinners and mediocre movies.

Spring is a great time to teach yourself to play the guitar or make good on your promise to build a fort with your little brother. You could start writing the great American novel or compose that hit song you’ve been thinking about for the past week.

Not feeling the creative vibe? Try organizing your room: Get the trash bags ready, turn on some Taylor Swift, then make a huge mess by pulling everything out of your drawers and closet. Make a pile of clothes for Goodwill, fill up those trash bags with old math assignments, and put everything back where you can find it. If you don’t use it, don’t keep it.

By the end of the night, you’ll be closer to your goals and have something to show for your evening.

Share the Love with Our Troops

Remember the troops who won’t be able to spend time with their loved ones. Take the time to put together care packages and cards for servicemen and women overseas. Our deployed soldiers won’t have any contact with their significant others aside from a short phone call or Skype conversation. Thank the troops for sacrificing their time with loved ones to fight for our country.

Host a party to make cards and purchase items for the care packages, such as: good coffee, tea, shampoo, magazines, lotion, books and prepackaged snack foods. Check out the USPS’s Military Mailing Restrictions site for a list of what not to send.

If you don’t know anyone currently serving overseas, log onto AnySoldier.com to find the name and address of a deployed soldier. Check out their “What to Send” and “Where to Send” pages. AnySoldier.com will provide you with requests deployed soldiers have made for things they need or want.

Follow the website’s instructions to choose a soldier or two; then, using the U.S. Postal Service’s flat-rate boxes, you can send care packages for around $10 and remind our soldiers what they’re fighting for.

That Kind of Girl

by Megan Hussong

I am that kind of girl. The kind that spends an hour painting miniature pink hearts on each fingernail. The kind who channels her inner Celine Dion in the shower. The girl who can’t resist dropping $2.50 for giant “I ♥ U” shaped cookie cutters.

Yep. I’m a romantic, and I celebrate holidays to the brink. I distinctly remember Valentines Day in 8th grade. You know that age – the age when friends get their first serious boyfriends, when giving cards to classmates becomes outdated, and when “real” Valentine’s Day gifts start counting. It’s also the time when not having a boyfriend makes you feel completely out of the loop.

But I had a remedy – Valentine’s Day was not going interfere with my fun. So I painted those hearts on my nails. I wore a red shirt, crafted cards for my parents, and made a V-day themed lunch. I exchanged candy with my friends at school and pushed thoughts of boys out of my head. Then the girl at the locker next to mine received a big bouquet of roses from a secret admirer, and that was the end of my happy little bubble. At some point in every girl’s life, a similar situation contributes to a less-than-stellar Valentine’s Day.

To all the ladies who relate all too well – just hold on! Please don’t put too much stake in Valentine’s Day. It only creates disappointment. Instead, take the day for what it is worth: a fun holiday and an excuse to eat great candy. So make those Valentines. Tell your parents how much you love them. Hide a surprise in your best friend’s purse. Whatever you do, don’t let cynicism trump romanticism. It might not be this year. It might not even be in high school or right away in college.

But someday, your dream will happen. You will find the guy who makes you feel beautiful every single day. It will be the guy who takes you to your favorite restaurant, just because. Every day will feel like a holiday because he loves you so much.

Valentine’s Day doesn’t define the meaning of love – it’s simply an opportunity to showcase it.

Ten Ways to Beat the Valentines Day Blues

By Emily Raush

So, it’s February. This is the month that could be the best month of your life, or the worst. It’s one of those times when you’ve been totally fine without a boyfriend, until now. You just wish that for one Valentine’s Day you could actually get a box of candy hearts from someone other than your six-year-old brother. Since when did Valentine’s Day turn into “flower-giving, chocolate-eating day?” Why don’t we turn away our focus from the latest gossip of Angelina Jolie’s and Brad Pitt’s relationship, or what your best friend’s cousin’s boyfriend bought for her, and instead turn our attention to what Valentine’s Day is supposed to be about: love.

If you’re dating that special someone…

1). Take the time to write him a heartfelt letter about how much he means to you and specifically what you like about him. Maybe it’s the way he makes you feel valued, or how he has the ability to make you laugh so easily. If you can’t think of what to write, take apart 1 Corinthians chapter 13 and focus on how you see each attribute (patience, kindness, etc…) being demonstrated in his life.

2). Here’s a little secret…guys actually like thoughtful gifts every once in awhile! If college has swallowed up all of your money and you’re running low on cash, who says you can’t go back to the good old days of homemade coupon booklets? These coupons could be for many different types of things: from his favorite home-cooked meal prepared by you, to a date night of doing something he would enjoy (see number three).

3). For your next date, give up your weekly trip to the mall. Instead, offer to do something you know your guy will enjoy. If he’s a sports fan, maybe this means cheering for his favorite team together. If he’s into cars, you might want to help fix an engine (good luck if it’s freezing outside!). If he’s a music guy, you could write a song together. Whatever he chooses, try to genuinely enjoy it; this will show that you truly care about your guy and not just what he does for you.

Whether you’ve got a boyfriend or are still waiting for Mr. Right, you can…

4). Host a “single ladies” girls’ night at your house. Watch a marathon of the latest chick flicks after stocking up on the extra-butter popcorn. And the chocolate. Maybe some ice cream, too.

5). Make a list of your dream guy. Is he respectable? Trustworthy? Passionate about his faith? Remind yourself of the qualities you’re looking for, and choose not to settle for anything less.

6). Do something that you enjoy. Paint your toenails a bright color or snuggle under the covers to read a good book. Another great way you can feel good about yourself is to exercise regularly.

7). Pick up a new hobby. Try cooking or photography. Not only could this be a fun activity for you now, it also could help you be a better wife someday if that’s what God has in store for you!

8). Perform a random act of kindness for someone. This could mean paying for the lunch of the person behind you at a fast food restaurant or offering your neighbors a night of free babysitting.

9). Let your family know you appreciate them. Show your parents that you are willing to help them without even being asked, or let your siblings beat you in their favorite board game.

10). Spend some time with your Creator. After all, He is your number one valentine! Thank God for what He has done for you and find ways to glorify Him in every area of your life.

No matter what you do, just don’t let the February blues get to you. Instead of being upset that you don’t have a Valentine or being disappointed by the expectations you had for a better gift, use this month to learn more about what love is truly about. Become the woman that God has created you to be.

Waiting rather than Labeling: Listen to your gut about relationships

By Hannah Henderson

As we walked down his street, I couldn’t tell if he was serious, or just joking. Had he really just asked me to be his girlfriend after only a few weeks of talking? I asked, just to clarify, that when he said “Will you go out with me?” that he really meant “Will you be my girlfriend.” When he responded yes, I was awe struck. I mean, I liked this guy, but it was just too soon. I eventually told him exactly what was on my mind, that I didn’t want to rush into things, that I just wanted to take it slow and get to know him better before we put a label on our relationship, and he seemed to understand.

We had been texting for the past two weeks nonstop every day before he asked me, and he would compliment me and tell me I was beautiful and some of the things he would text me would make me look twice; he would just say the sweetest things. But it was almost repetitive. Every night he would say to me “Goodnight beautiful and sweet dreams J,” and don’t get me wrong, for the first couple of nights, I got butterflies, thinking to myself how amazing this guy was, then after a while, it was just like I was expecting it, like it wasn’t spontaneous anymore. The same goes for the compliments. I almost felt like he was complimenting me too much, and I wasn’t getting that same feeling in my stomach when I read the text anymore. It just wasn’t the same.

The day after he had asked me, he texted me and we started talking normally, then I brought up the incident that had happened the day before. I wanted him to understand exactly why I said what I had said, and although saying it over texts seems cowardly, I felt like I needed to tell him ASAP; I didn’t want to play with his feelings if this was what he really wanted. I at least owed that much to him. I tried to make sure that this was what he really wanted. He assured me that I was different from the other girls he had dated (which only lasted for a week or two) and that he had never felt like this fast for a girl before. But I wasn’t convinced. I just didn’t know him well enough, especially considering that when he had asked me, it had only been our third time hanging out together.

I remember when I was younger, and all I could dream about was that moment, when the boy that I liked would ask me to be his and no one else’s, but the truth is, it was really up to me when I wanted to become committed. In my case, I didn’t feel comfortable enough with him, I felt like I barely knew him, and I’m so happy with my decision because after spending more time with him, I realized that he wasn’t the one that I wanted to be with.

All I’m saying is to just give it a little bit of time before you really dive right into things. I know it sounds cliché, but there are plenty of fish in the sea, and you can’t just settle for the one who makes you feel alright. Wait for the one who sweeps you off your feet and makes you get butterflies in your stomach. Those are the people that you can say you truly want to be with.

Sticks and stones…but not words

by Laura Blythe

I have a simple piece of pink paper tacked to the wall above my bed. It’s an exercise we did in a Bible Study my freshman year. It was a simple assignment—we each wrote our names in the center of a piece of paper, then passed them around the room and anonymously wrote encouragements to each other.

At the time, it didn’t seem like that big of a deal. But at my friend Rachel’s house the other day, I noticed that she still had her paper on her wall, too—almost three years later. I asked her about it, and she said that even on her worst days, she could look at the encouraging things that people had told her years ago, and it would brighten her day.

It was a pretty awesome lesson in the power of words. We have all been told since we were little that sticks and stones may break our bones, but words will never hurt us. But again and again, it’s been proven that words do have power—the power to hurt, of course. But they also have the power to build others up, to encourage and inspire. How are you using your words?

Spoken Words

How do you speak to others? Do you use your words to belittle people, to jokingly insult them? Even if you’re speaking in jest, you still have the power to be hurtful. I’ve heard of a youth group where, if you insult someone in anyway, you have to be able to give that same person two real compliments afterwards. After holding each other (even the youth pastor) accountable to this for a few weeks, the group noticed that there were a lot less insults being thrown around. Try insulting less and complimenting more.

Written Words

We don’t write these days like our parents did in theirs. Rather than passing notes in class, we send texts and sneak onto Skype and Facebook chat. Even though these written words are different from spoken words, we still need to be aware of what we’re writing. Think before you post something to someone’s Facebook profile or Twitter. Once something has been put on the Internet, it’s tough—sometimes impossible–to take back. And unlike the spoken word, there is no way to be misheard.

Finding Self Worth

by Sophia Vilceus

As young women, we often become filled with so many hopes, dreams, and visions we have for ourselves in terms of our love life.  As we proceed to develop and mature, at times we are hit with so much negativity in regards to love and relationships that by the time we reach full womanhood, we are doubtful and skeptical of the notion of love itself as well as our potential partners.

Wherever you turn, this famous and seemingly “perfect” Hollywood couple is breaking up and our best friend who was in that amazing relationship cannot even stand the sight of her now ex-boyfriend. We are left to wonder.  If those people cannot make it last and be happy, how can I?

Too often we look at other people’s relationships and use it as guides to the relationships we may have.  A wise woman once told me, “never look at someone else’s relationship to look for what happiness looks like.”  In other words, if you are looking for a “perfect” relationship, you will be disappointed. This disappointment will not be because no one is truly ever happy in their relationships, but because what happy means to you may not be the same meaning they have.

It’s important to encourage yourself with the thought of love and not let things of the world discourage you from dreaming big.  Many of us have dreams of marriage, children, commitment; whatever your dream may be, do not let present situations or circumstances that you see others going through deter you away from obtaining what you want. You are worth everything good that comes your way, so if a good person notices your value one day, be priceless and timeless together.

You Know You’re Grown Up When…

by Amy Marturana

When we were young girls, we could barely wait to grow up and put on our first coat of mascara, or wear our first pair of high heels.  We longed to finally be able to drive instead of having our parents embarrassingly drop us off at a friend’s house, and when the day finally came, we felt on top of the world.

So when did growing up become such a chore?  Sure the freedom is great, but as young adults, we sometimes wish life were as easy as it was when we were six.  No commitments, no work—not a care in the world. Even though going off to college is liberating (and of course a lot of fun), internships and final exams sound much less appealing than a game of wiffle ball or hopscotch.

Unfortunately, we can’t stay young forever.  And, as we get older, reality slowly starts to smack us around a little bit.  But how do we know when to consider ourselves grown ups?  There are many little indications and it varies for everyone, but I’ve found that these four things are sure signs.  You know you’re grown up when:

1.    There is no one to do your laundry—A lot of people start doing their laundry themselves before they go off to school, while others get a rude awakening at college.  And laundry is a time commitment!  Separating clothes, loading, washing, drying and folding.  It’s about a three-hour ordeal… and who has that kind of extra time at school?  But once you start to only have t-shirts and a pair of jeans you’ve worn the past four days, you have to find the time to get it done, you grownup you.  And as if it isn’t a big enough hassle already, you’ll probably also have to pay for your laundry—up to three bucks a pop.

2.    No one makes sure you’re up for class—Your alarm didn’t go off?  Well, mom isn’t there dragging you out of bed so you can get to class on time.  And don’t count on a roommate to be your alarm; she will be busy worrying about her own schedule.  You are a grownup when you get out bed every day with only the help of your alarm clock.  You are even more of a grownup when you miss your mandatory class and have to suffer the consequences.

3.    You have to decide what to do with your time (and you usually make the wrong decision)—Now that classes aren’t from 7:30 a.m. until 2 p.m., using time wisely is crucial.   You know you’re all grown up when you are up until 3 a.m. writing a paper that you should have done over the weekend (but that party was oh so tempting!). Having so much freedom leaves room to use it the wrong way, and mastering time management may be something that some us will die still not understanding.

4.    You can’t afford anything—Welcome to the real world!  The money you make at your summer job now has a purpose: to buy books, or food, or something equally important.  Adulthood marks the end of babysitting money being used just to buy new clothes.  You are grown up when you are forced to put down the Free People and pick up the McGraw-Hill, a test of adulthood that leaves you heartbroken every time.

Digging Deep Down for Forgiveness: Granting mercy in an unforgiving world

by Lindsey Caruana

Digging deep down to forgive a loved one who has done wrong is often a difficult task. Depending on the severity of the circumstance, forgiving an individual that has broken the bond of trust can be easier said than done. If such an unfortunate predicament arises, it is often wise to take a step back providing space between you and your loved one. Doing this, permits room to re-assess the situation allowing a fresh wound to heal. When the face of deceit rears its ugly head, breathe easy knowing it is normal to feel pain when an individual has been disloyal, so push aside some time for grieving, as pent up emotions only leads to resentment and bitterness.

Once the healing process has undergone, and it seems as though the storm has passed, it is vital to first decide if this particular person is worth your friendship and love. If the answer is yes, then it is important to remain calm and rational while weighing the pros and cons of the current situation. Thinking clearly through the details will authorize admittance of the faulted, even if some of the blame falls on you.

Often in life, individuals are reluctant to realize that their hurtful words or actions have affected another, especially if there is a lack of communication and the issue is left unspoken. It is essential to remember that anger and resentment are the biggest emotional enemies when trying to dig deep down to forgive. At times, it may seem that the easiest emotion to succumb to is fury, but in the end, it helps to recognize that “the weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.” – Mahatma Gandhi.

Once the negative feelings have subsided, productive and proactive communication with the wrong doer is necessary in order to begin the mending process.

We are built as human beings, faulty and inaccurate inevitably making mistakes along the way. Try to think of a time when you, yourself, have made a miserable blunder, possibly even the same one that has your heart aching now. Think of the longing for forgiveness that consumed you, and recognize that it is that same forgiveness your loved one is wishing you would bestow upon them.

Most of the time, life does not seem fair, but forgiving an individual that has done wrong will ultimately free you of burden allowing a fulfilling life with no regrets.