Not all slaves are entirely unpaid

By Hannah Penfield

Imagine you have a job. It’s your dream job, but only because you cannot get any other jobs as an illegal immigrant. You are paid around $10,000 US a year, if you’re lucky. That’s less than half of the poverty threshold for a family of four. You have none of the normal rights of a US worker: no right to organize, to overtime pay. You have no health insurance, sick leave, vacations, pension, or job security. This is the life of a farm worker subjected to forced labor, as described by antislavery.org.

There are no firm numbers, because forced labor is a secretive criminal activity, but antislavery.org estimates that about five percent of farm workers are subject to forced labor. The vast majority of these workers are migrant workers from Mexico, Guatemala, and Haiti. Most of those are undocumented, and therefore are easy pickings for traffickers looking to exploit these vulnerable immigrants.

However, not all of these migrant workers are undocumented. Legal workers and even US citizens can be victims of forced labor due to the need to find work, transportation, and shelter. People who are in serious need are the most vulnerable.

The Coalition of Immokalee Workers (CIW), a workers’ rights activist group based out of Florida, documents cases of forced labor. Every case they have documented involves some form of debt bondage. Debt bondage is forcing someone to work off a debt; the debt is generally inflated over time with interest or the initial amount is raised without warning. In these cases, traffickers promise to provide transportation to work locations on credit, saying that the debt will be paid off quickly through work. Often, the workers arrive thousands of dollars in debt. This gives the trafficker all the power.

Once this power structure is in place, the worker is forced to work 12 to 14 hour days, generally from dawn to dusk, seven days a week. Their wages, which are the only means the workers have of paying off their debt, face deductions for transport, accommodations, food, work equipment, and supposed tax and social security payments (a scam to take more money). Wages are sporadically paid, but often there are so many deductions that the wages are reduced to nothing.

Employers also expend some effort to protect their free labor. They work in what can be described as concentration camps, facing total domination and brutality. Workers live in small, poorly kept trailers with 11 to 15 fellow workers. They are under constant surveillance and are tracked by armed guards. The employers and guards also threaten the worker’s family. In some severe cases, public beatings, pistol-whippings, and shootings are used as intimidation.

This type of slavery is the easiest to fight back against. Simply choose carefully where you buy your food. Taco Bell, Burger King, Subway, Whole Foods Market, and Bon Appétit have all signed agreements with CIW to pay fair prices for their vegetables and to not work with companies who use forced labor. The companies that CIW is currently boycotting to stop using slave labor for their stores and restaurants are Kroger, Ahold (parent company of Stop & Shop and Giant), Publix, Aramark, Sodexo, and Chipotle. Avoid these companies and visit ciw-online.org to find out more.

Special thanks to antislavery.org.

Stopping Traffic (Human Trafficking) With Those Shoes

By Stacey Wilson

“Hey, I put some new shoes on,
And suddenly everything is right,
I said, hey, I put some new shoes on, and everybody’s smiling.”

Paolo Nutini’s lyrics sum up just what it’s like to strap on a new pair of shoes. Despite his Y chromosome, Nutini nails the feeling of confidence that seems to well up from new kicks. For women, though, the right shoes not only ignite feelings of confidence, but also a sense of simply “feeling pretty.”

Ateba Crocker, shoe lover and founder of the women’s online boutique Shoe Revolt, knows all too well how girls want to feel confident and beautiful in the clothes and shoes they wear. Her abusive father, however, robbed her of that feeling at an early age.

“My mother bought me this dress,” Crocker reminisces. “When I did a spin, it made this hoop thing – like in ‘Little House on the Prairie.’ He said that I looked like a prostitute. At that moment, I remember my heart just shattering because I thought I looked really pretty.”

Just like that twirling dress, Crocker’s life soon spun out of control, and her father’s words would eventually ring true. After becoming pregnant as a teenager, she joined an escorting agency to support her son Maleek.

“My body was already broken as a little girl, but it got worse,” she explains. Feeling broken both on the outside and inside, it took a few words from her young son to spark a trip to a local church. While riding in the car one day, Maleek said, “Mommy, mommy, I want to be a meacher.” By “meacher,” Maleek meant “preacher.” Crocker questioned how Maleek could possibly do this if she was a prostitute.

At a church service soon afterwards, she heard the story of Lazarus, a man Jesus raised from the dead. “That was my life,” she says. “I was dead emotionally. I was dead on the inside. My heart was hardened. I wanted to become alive.”

And she did. Crocker decided to follow Christ that day, and he took her on a journey out of a world of prostitution, bondage and addiction.

“I can’t begin to tell you how hard it is to work through addictions, your childhood abuse, your pain, to go through all that counseling, and then to go to school to get your degree so you can become someone in society,” she says. “It was because of God and because of my tenacity and that I didn’t give up.”

After receiving her master’s degree, working for the Nike Corporation, establishing a family of her own and teaching at a university, Crocker decided it was time to step out and help other girls and women who have fallen victim to sexual abuse, human trafficking and prostitution. She now assumes the full-time role of heading up Shoe Revolt

On her birthday this year, March 11, she launched Phase One of the online boutique. Through its shoe sales, the company is dedicated to fighting sexual exploitation and trafficking of girls.

Crocker explains how she channeled her anger at the commercial sex industry by starting this revolt: “I love shoes, and I figured other women love shoes. I wanted to ignite that energy and that power and get women fired up and feisty.” She adds, “God loves us, and he values us so much. Men and women are exploiting girls, and it makes me mad, and I want other women to get mad and fight with me.”

And what a fun way to fight – by buying a pair of shoes! Phase Two of the revolt will launch Aug. 1, when the boutique will open its online store. For now, Shoe Revolt is seeking donations for used shoes in excellent condition or new shoes that people or corporations are willing to donate. The goal is to have 5,000 shoes by July, but Shoe Revolt’s ultimate goal is to create a multi-billion dollar industry to kick human trafficking to the curb.

Since the commercial sex business is also a multi-billion dollar industry, Crocker says the best way to fight these exploiters is with money. “We have to have something to establish us financially so that we can compete with them.”

Shoe Revolt’s profits will be donated to Girls Educational and Mentoring Services (GEMS), as well as other organizations seeking to provide assistance and transitional housing for girls victimized by trafficking and prostitution. Shoe Revolt will also help create scholarships for victims.

“Victim” is a word that means a lot to Crocker. “We are not criminals; we’re victims,” she asserts. Shoe Revolt will also work to reestablish society’s view of prostitution. “For many girls, freedom is being taken away from them. I want them to know that it’s not their fault. I want society to know it’s not the girls’ fault.”

Crocker wants to encourage girls to find life on the other side of prostitution. “I know there are girls out there who are being enslaved into this lifestyle. It’s not impossible for them to come back. They have an opportunity to really change their life.”

Shoe lovers, or “shoeistas,” as Crocker likes to call them, have the opportunity to help change lives by simply donating a pair of boots, heels, wedges, flats or sandals – or making a purchase when the store opens in August.

As Crocker works to assemble the shoeistas, she knows there’s a big fight ahead.

According to UNICEF, as many as two million children could be sexually exploited each year. The Polaris Project sites this number at one million and also reports that an estimated 244,000 children in the United States are at risk for sexual exploitation. To add to the problem, many of the children who come out of sexual trafficking and slavery have no long-term treatment options. A recent article in The Los Angeles Times reported findings of a study by the Department of Health and Human Services; only four rehabilitation centers exist in the United States for children exploited through prostitution.

Statistics like these are driving Crocker to fight and to encourage others to do the same.

Nutini’s lyrics now take on a much deeper meaning: “Hey, I put some new shoes on, and suddenly everything is right.” The fight against human trafficking and sexual exploitation of girls may not end suddenly, but women around the globe can help make things right – one pair of shoes at a time.

For more information on how you can donate shoes, visit www.shoerevolt.com.

You can also join Shoe Revolt’s Facebook fan page and follow Ateba Crocker on Twitter @ShoeRevolt.

A REALITY Girl in London: A lesson in unfamiliarity

By Courtney Miller

Near the beginning of March, two words jumped out from my calendar: SPRING BREAK!  For the first time, I was jetting off to a beach for the weeklong college vacation.

Kind of.

While many of our classmates headed to Italy and unforeseen frigid temperatures, my friend Amanda and I had sporadically chosen Morocco as our destination weeks before.  Italy would have been easier, but we were excited at the prospect of Africa.

One 4:30am bus, a layover in the strangest airport in Madrid, and an accidental first class train later, we were at our hostel in Casablanca.  Did we go because of the movie?  It was a name to start with, but Amanda hadn’t even seen the 1942 film until after we came back.  Morocco came up in a shout-out brainstorm of what to match with Barcelona, and we just went with it.

Best choice ever.  Morocco is a giant clash of tradition, modernity, garbage, constantly honking horns and cafes.  In Casablanca, there are exactly two tourist attractions: the Hassan II mosque and Rick’s American Café.  The latter was built by an American woman a few years back as an exact replica of the one Humphrey Bogart runs in the movie, and we never even ended up wandering over.  I didn’t really know what to expect, but what we got certainly wasn’t Casablanca.  We’d read and been told that Casablanca was worth no more than a day in any itinerary, and we left the city agreeing.  It’s a city for commerce, not tourism.  We maneuvered it without a map, without ever taking a taxi, and armed only with thick skin and the sad leftovers of my high school French.

In seven days, we hit Casablanca, Fes and Rabat—three cities chosen because of their close triangular position on a map, some online advice and a connection with a friend.  Fes holds the largest piece of medieval Morocco in its sprawling 1200 year-old medina with over 9,000 car-less streets.  We were transported back in time by a place that’s resisted change and passed down its history family by family.

We caught hugely different slices of Moroccan life everywhere we went within this small piece of the country, from dirty rude streets to polished white houses gated in.   Palm trees ran in boulevards against rundown building fronts.  We rode parallel to the stunning Atlas Mountains in the distance while kids ran alongside train tracks piled high with trash. And then there were the towering five-star hotels with security at the doors, holding the visitors who wouldn’t see the Morocco Amanda and I discovered.

I needed this trip.  Seduced by adventure and travel, I’ve set myself on a path filled with the new, the faraway and the unfamiliar.  Yes, I hated the bargaining culture.  I wouldn’t survive in it for more than a few days.  I couldn’t stand the car horns that punched the air (London seemed quiet upon our return).  The train tracks flooded with the rain and people begged, bothered and conned when all I wanted was to get out of the station.  We expected, as women traveling alone in Morocco, to get verbally harassed and we were—in four different languages. I felt inept, confused and frustrated much of the time, and I am a person who thrives on control.  But it may have been the best decision of my spring.  I went to Morocco with a pile of budget traveler tickets, a backpack and a roll of toilet paper (best advice given to me), and I gained an experience of a lifetime and a much needed lesson: I can survive the unknown.

A man we met on the train to Fes graciously invited us into his home for a real meal and to meet his family.  It was luck, trust and respect that led to the best night of our trip.  Three strangers meet…it sounds like a Hollywood construction.   And there were times when I felt like I’d been dropped in a scene from Romancing the Stone, one of my favorite 80s movies (but not an action scene).  Wrong continent, but it matches the strange mood of feeling entangled in a culture so foreign and—to me—raw.  A curious test of endurance and fellowship.

Amanda, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.

(Courtney is studying at the Ithaca College London Centre this semester.  She’s living in Earls Court and plans to see as much of London on foot as she can.)

Mother’s Day Tributes!

RCG Mag staff wanted to take a moment to shout out to their special mom’s this month! So take a moment and read up on why we love our mom’s…then go hug yours or any other inspiring woman in your life. Here’s to the strong, empowered women of our lives! Happy Mother’s Day!

Amy Marturana

My mother is my best friend… maybe it’s a special bond we have because we share the same birthday, or maybe it’s just because she is such a compassionate, comforting and understanding woman.  My mother is stylish… we share our clothes.  My mother is more popular than I am… we can’t go to any store without her seeing someone she knows. But most of all, my mother is an inspiration. I have never met a person with more strength and optimism than my mother, and I doubt I ever will.  There’s nothing she can’t do.  She graduated from college, had a full time job, raised two kids, and most amazingly, fought cancer.  The things she has gone through just within the past year of her life are more than most people would ever be able to bear.  But not my mother.  Sure, there are tough days… she’s only human.  But the way she faces the world in such a confident, optimistic and fearless way, makes me want to look life in the eyes and challenge it the same way.  Seeing my mother’s strength and heart gives me the strength to get through the tough days. She gives me the power to see the good among the painfully unfair things that have been thrown our way.  And most of all, she gives me support, love and solidarity when I feel like life may be falling apart right in front of me.  I have never stopped learning from her, and I know I never will.  So, thanks mom…you’re pretty great.  Happy Mother’s Day, I love you!

Sarah Buzzelli

Words can’t describe the love and respect I have for my mom.  The older I become, the more I realize all she has done for me.  Not only is she my mom, but she is my best friend. This past year has brought some difficult situations my way, and my mom has stood by my side through them all.  She is there for me no matter what I say or do, and I can never thank her enough.  What I love most about her is that she strives to be a Godly example for me. The way she lives her life is a testimony to me, and I am forever grateful for this.  Her patience, love, kindness, and courage are all parts of her loving and charitable personality that I respect and hope to attain.  God has blessed me with a wonderful mother who loves and worships Him, and radiates compassion and forgiveness.  I am so thankful for her, and I couldn’t ask for a better mom.

Emily Raush

When I look at my mom, I see the kind of woman I desire to be. With four children, she takes joy in putting all her time into supporting us in everything we do. She is such an encouragement to my life and has taught me what it looks like to be a hard-working, genuine, compassionate and godly lady. I am amazed at her selfless desire to help other people, no matter who they are or how busy she is. My mom is the epitome of the godly woman described in Proverbs 31, specifically verses 25-26: “She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future. When she speaks, her words are wise, and she gives instructions with kindness.” My mom is not only my role model, but she is also one of my best friends, and I so much appreciate how she is always there to listen to me, understand and offer godly advice. Even when I don’t treat her the way that I should, she chooses to love me no matter what. I cannot begin to express how thankful I am for my mom. God has really blessed me with her and my dad; I could not ask for a greater example of Christ’s love. Happy Mother’s Day Mommy…I love you!

Courtney Miller

When I was a senior in high school, my senior prom fell overnight into Mother’s Day.  When they didn’t have enough volunteers to work the 11pm to 5am after-prom event, my mom chose to begin her Sunday in a high school cafeteria.  And when we woke up mid-day after getting home, she made a full breakfast for ten people. This is why my mom is amazing: she has been a caterer, a driver, a hostess, a boss, a chaperone, a psychologist and an audience.  She has sat through enough bad violin concerts and grade school plays to fill a scrapbook.  She has two kids but plays an integral role in several of their friends’ lives. Yes, sometimes I think she mothers too much and we have our share of squabbles.  I still get frustrated when I’m home from college and she makes me text her telling her I’ve reached a friend’s house.  But I know she does it because she loves me. She’s always looking out for me.  If the world had more people that cared as much, it would be a better place. Happy Mother’s Day, Mom.

Angel Neal

I would like to wish my mother Cheryl Neal a Happy Mothers Day. My mom has always been there for me when I needed her to. Ever since I was born she has put in a hundred in ten percent to help me an anyway that she could. I know sometimes we can have our arguments, but I believe it’s because we’re so much like each other. I want to thank her for raising me to be a beautiful classy young woman just like herself. I wouldn’t trade her for anything in the world. At the end of the day in many cases she is the only one who understands. I don’t tell her enough how much I appreciate her and love her so I want to take the time out and thank my mommy. I love you!

Samantha Highfill

From my genes to my strength, I am my mother’s daughter. Most importantly, she is the reason that I’m alive, but she’s also the reason behind who I am. She gives me my independence when I need it and she offers advice when I ask. She accepts me and she loves me. I admire her from a distance as she leads by example, running her own company and being a successful woman in a patriarchal corporate world. She’s my best friend, but let’s not forget, she’s also the reason for my great hair. You always hear people say that they can never repay their mothers and it’s at this point in my life when I realize just how true that is. I can only hope to one day become for my daughter what my mother is for me – my core.

Catey Gonzalez

Happy Mother’s Day to my wonderful mom, Christine Louise Russell Gonzalez. I love you for “oofy poofy oofy poofy, nope!” and “Koala Lou, I love you.” I love you for all the years of home schooling I wouldn’t trade for anything (if I’m a genius—and I am—it’s only because of you!). I love you for being my favorite person to weep copiously about movies with. I love you for raising me to love God, and for not raising me to be one of “those girls.” I love you for all the times in the last few years you’ve pushed and encouraged me, to help me become the kind of woman I want to be. Not to mention you’re way more beautiful than all the other *cough*-year-old moms around! I love you Momma, big as the world.

Anyone But Me’s Nicole Pacent is Anything But Mrs. Smith

Nicole Pacent plays Aster on the web series, "Anyone But Me"

By Michelle Golden

The new hit web-series Anyone But Me’s Nicole Pacent looks like a spitting image of Angelina Jolie. Created by one of the writers and Consulting Producers of The L Word and ThirtySomething, Susan Miller, and independent filmmaker Tina Cesa Ward Anyone But Me introduces a new post 9/11generation struggling with homosexuality, identity, and modern long distance relationships. Pacent flips her freshly salon highlighted brown hair, flashes a Crest-white smile and tells me she has been acting since she could put one foot in front of the other. Placing her Au Bon Pain coffee near her computer, she explains how she was nominated as one of Shewired.com’s 2009 Gay Women of the Year and what it means to her to be a part of Anyone But Me.

“We’ve amassed such a wonderful, small niche following for Anyone But Me,” said the New York University Tisch School of Arts graduate who plays 15- year old Astor, Vivian’s (played by Rachael Hip-Flores) on-screen love.

“I think people really relate to the Vivian and Astor characters and the fact that in that first [SheWired.com] interview when I came out, people were really psyched about it. I guess it’s just not that typical,” says Pacent. “It’s funny to me now because it’s just so second nature for me. I don’t even think about it. I talk about it because it is who I am, and it’s part of my life.”

After coming out publicly to the press as bi-sexual on April 21, 2009, shortly after the release of the first season of the web-series, Pacent has been contacted by devoted fans saying they have been touched by her efforts. “It’s why I act at the end of the day. Besides my own love for it, it is to do something that makes a difference with people.”

As a kid in the early days of her acting career, Pacent often played the little mermaid during recess, always showing admiration for the song, “Part of Your World,” to the point that even to this day, she still relies on it as her audition song. Theater was always something that just “made sense” to Pacent.

“Anything that was theater or music related I just loved. When I watched a movie or went to see a show, I was just completely transfixed,” she said. “I went to see Red Riding Hood when I was seven and all I wanted to do was be red riding hood.”

But the confident and smiling actress reminiscing about her musical production and community theater days on and off the playground actually used to be a little girl scared of coming out to her peers, and more importantly, to herself.

“It’s such a funny idea this whole idea of coming out because if we lived in a world where people didn’t assume that you were straight until proven otherwise, then maybe things would be different. But really you come out everyday to people.”

One would never think that in the middle of a hockey field where practice was being held, someone could have an identity crisis. However, for 15-year-old Pacent it was possible. During a summer afternoon, her and her teammates saw, what they thought, was an attractive-looking guy across the field. A few minutes later they found out that this guy was actually a girl, when he, or rather she, took off a baseball cap to expose a shaved head and a face that had very apparent girl features. That moment was the turning point in Pacent’s awareness of her sexuality. As all the other girls laughed at the idea that they could possibly think this ‘guy’ was “cute,”

Pacent still could not get it out of her head that she still thought the girl was attractive in her eyes.

“I remember looking at her intently and being like, ‘That’s a girl. You know it’s a girl now. Why are you so attracted to her?’ I had to keep on telling myself, you know this is a girl, right?’”

At 15, coming out was a scary process for Pacent. It was different and she did not know anyone her age that identified as gay.

“It was so the other. As soon as it came in my conscience mind that this just might be who I am, I suddenly was alienated in my own head. I became the other that everyone could talk about, and to me, that was very scary. It was scary because it was real.”

Able to relate on a very personal level with her character on Anyone But Me, Pacent says Astor is very confident.

“She’s much more myself now than myself in high school. Myself in high school was a little more Vivian,” says Pacent. After moving from New York City to Westchester, Vivian has to deal with coming out to her peers in a new school and neighborhood and subsequently has a hard time adjusting to that idea while still maintaining her relationship with Astor back at home.

“Sometimes I was comfortable with it and sometimes I wasn’t. In terms of owning to who she is, she is more mature than I was. Astor is the kind of girl that I would date, not necessarily the person I am,” says Pacent.

Performing as Astor on the show makes Pacent think a lot about her identity as an actress, saying that often where people have trouble in acting is where they have trouble in life too. Sometimes during scenes where she needs to become vulnerable, Pacent finds it hard to do so in front of other people when she is not in control. “There have been times in scenes where I’m like, ‘Should I cry in this scene?’ and I found myself so uncomfortable at the idea of crying and I ask myself ‘Is that me being uncomfortable for Astor or me being uncomfortable for me?’

Since coming out to her peers and family, Pacent is finally comfortable forming relationships with other women and not afraid of being judged. The Angelina-look-alike is starring again on the second season of Anyone But Me.

“You know, my ex-girlfriend in the beginning thought I looked like Angelina Jolie but then over time said ‘Yeah I saw it when I first met you, but I don’t see it anymore. You’re just…you.’ That’s what I get from most people. They see it at first and then they don’t see it anymore. I mean it’s an incredible compliment. That woman is outstandingly beautiful. Can’t argue with it.”

African-American Lectionary seeks to inspire a future rooted in a history.

By Ashley Ludgood

If necessity is the mother of invention, then the need for relativity may very well be the mother of inspiration. At least, that’s how president and publisher of The African American Pulpit Rev. Martha Simmons discovered her inspiration to create the first African American Lectionary.

A lectionary is a listing of fitting scriptures and sacred readings that can be used on special occasions in the church. Simmons was using a traditional lectionary when she realized the need for an African-American lectionary.

“It didn’t excite me. It was a lot of text, and I didn’t understand how I could related it to the black community,“ Simmons said.

Simmons first polled nearly 10,000 black clergymen to decide if the need was valid. Simmons then pitched the idea to the Lilly Endowment and received a grant for almost $2 million.

The lectionary launched in December 2007 with the support of Vanderbilt Divinity School’s Kelly Miller Smith Institute. It has developed into a free, online resource containing content such as videos, poems, scriptures, readings and hymns traditionally used in the black church. The content is particularly slanted toward special days and occasions such as Young Adults Day and Youth Sunday.  The site was designed to be visually stimulating and user-friendly.

“The feedback has been great. We’ve gotten hundreds of emails on how stunned [users are] at how much information is there. The most common response is ‘I can’t believe this is all free.’ And it is all is relevant,” Simmons said.

The Lectionary Team, a small group of black Christianity experts, hand-selected the content and contributors for the site. Dr. Bernice Johnson Reagan, the founder of singing group Sweet Honey and the Rock, serves as the Cultural Resources Team Leader. Nolan Williams, the music editor of the African-American Heritage Hymnal, serves as head of the Worship Division.

Despite the academic nature of the contributors, the site has a very personal feel and message. Simmons said her personal goal for the site is it will inspire others to— well, inspire others.

“I hope young people, girls especially, will be inspired to take this and make it their own. We’ve got videos; they should add videos. We’ve got poems; they should add their own,” said Simmons.

Simmons emphasized the key is relevance, being able to apply the pre-researched information and ideas to real-life situations that may affect your community and church.

“Let’s say a you’re a youth worker. If a young black girl comes to you and says there’s a lot of violence in my neighborhood. A you may say, ‘I’ll pray for you.’ That’s good, but you may ask is there anything else I can do?” Simmons said.

Simmons shared stories of churches using the lectionary to start programs and host services on topics that particularly affect today’s times such as incarceration, cancer, and absent fathers.

‘I’d like to see a lot more people use [the lectionary] who are teaching people about religion and faith. I’d like to see people use it who are teaching people how to live out their faith in today’s hard times,” she said.

With the hardships that exist in 2010, there are plenty of opportunities to practice faith. The African-American lectionary exists to inspire people to continue to share that faith in creative ways, despite such hardships. That spirit of creativity, endurance, and faith is what lies at the center of the black Christian experience.

To use The African-American Lectionary visit www.theafricanamericanlectionary.org.

Making Home the Career: Stay-at-home-moms vs. “Career women”

by Emily Herring Dunn

I grew up in a household with a stay-at-home-mom. While she did the domestic jobs of cooking and cleaning, she devoted herself to helping with homework, problems, and encouraging her children every day in everything that they did; she still does. While all parents have flaws, I never saw my mom’s choice of staying at home to be one of them.

There have been many moments, I’m sure, when my mom questioned her decision. Indeed she still has many goals and dreams to carry out when she chooses to, but once she had her three girls, her life revolved around them.

I do remember at one point, around when I was five, she worked at a library, and she worked with my father when he was a minister in whatever ways she could, but she never did something like being a newspaper editor, becoming a doctor, a lawyer, and so on. While she enjoyed working and doing other things which she loved, she made the girls her priority.

Growing up with encouragement, my parents sought for me and my two sisters to always have a career in mind. If we didn’t wish to do the big things, they still encouraged us to get our teaching credentials so we would have something to “fall back on,” if all doesn’t go as we dream it. However, as I have grown, I have realized that I want to be just like my mother. Though some days she tells me she wishes she had done more, and that she herself would have gotten her teaching credentials, I have come to the point in my life to stick to my own gut feelings.

These days, women are expected to do just as much as men. If they are, indeed, blessed and capable to go to college and to work towards a career, they are expected to have a career. Whether it be a teacher, a news consultant, a doctor, a nurse, a lawyer, a police woman, or a secretary—a woman is expected to want that position of self-dependency and power that those before us fought so hard to have.

As I grow up, I have realized more and more my want to stay home. I have high hopes of being a published author and perhaps a free lance writer, but other than that my main goal is to be a good mother. It seems the more years that separate us from the 50s and before, women who stay home are looked down upon. After all, are we not just as capable as men? We have the choice to go to work, to have a career, and to be a mother and a wife. We have the choice to have it all. This I understand… but what if I don’t want it all? What if I am perfectly content to stay at home, cook and clean, help the kids in all that they do, and be a number-one mother and wife? Why is that such a bad thing?

I got married young, but my mind has never changed. When I was younger my hopes were to be an actress, then a teacher, then a writer, then a librarian, then all of the above. Still I work towards those dreams that I have had all of my life, but now most of them are “just in cases.”

I will continue my education and get my masters in library sciences just in case something happens to my husband and I am forced to support myself, and maybe someday my children. I will go back and get my teaching credentials, if necessary, to help support us if we are ever in a hard financial time. But all of these options that I have are just that—options. I have the option to choose what I wish to do. And what is that? I choose to be a mother, to write when I am able, to continue to try to be published, and to be content supporting my family.

Women have a peculiar role in the world these days. While in some places women are still not as free to do as we are in the United States, more time tends to equal more opportunities. While I always give shout outs to my feminist sisters, there are those that I disagree with in many cases. Why are women who stay at home to be mothers looked down on, but women who show off their bodies for work, not? After all, those women are giving in to a stereotype as much as the stay-at-home-mothers; they are using their bodies to get what they want, which is an ancient trick our sex has long possessed.

Children are our future. If all women are to have a career and a family, and sometimes family time is sacrificed—will our children continue to grow up well rounded? It seems that kids today are starting to lose respect, lose the true knowing of family-togetherness, lose companionship with brothers and sisters; children now are always entertained with video games, movies, TV shows—even in the car! If all the women that wish to be stay-at-home-moms give in to society and become career-focused women… what will happen to our children?

I am not saying that women cannot do it all, but I do think there has to be some kind of balance. I think that if women who have a career and a family are looked up to, women who decide to stay at home and focus on the family should be looked up to as well. Both are accomplishing something, both are making a difference.

Why is a woman lawyer making a bigger difference than a mother at home giving her child options of punishments? Why is a woman doctor making a bigger difference than a stay-at-home-mother who bandages her child’s hurts and kisses them to make them feel better? Why are women no longer allowed to want to be the perfect wife and mother?

It seems to me that women today are afraid to make the home and love the big picture. Society is pushing women to have careers, to make a difference. The way I see it, is women can have time for a career and they can have time for family. If a woman wants to make her home her career, there should be no problems with that. That’s how it began, and while the changes and opportunities that have come our way should not be ignored, they do not have to be the only options.

Power to the women who have it all; power to the women that only want a career, and power to the women who want the home to be their career!

We should all support one another, all realize that we have the opportunity to choose and that some choices should not be looked at as better than others.

While I do not think going through life depending on the image of getting married, having kids, and being a mom should be the number one goal of a woman, she should not look down upon it if that’s what ends up happening.

There is no shame in giving in to love and saving other opportunities for later in life, and vice versa. Women should be happy to be who they are and enjoy their choices and making choices for themselves.

We should stop doing only what society expects us to do, and exercise our right of choosing. After all, isn’t that what the men do?

A REALITY Girl in London: Awards show experience

by Courtney Miller

There’s the “behind the scenes” of the award season.  Celebrities, nominees and random invitees walk the red carpets after hours of hair and makeup.  Sometimes they’re even sewn into their dresses.  They’ll post photos to Twitter and tweet about their preparation.  But there’s another level of behind the scenes: the trenches.

The jam-packed together, uncomfortable, unforgiving crowd of fans herded into the constructed alleys on either side of the freshly rolled out carpet.  THAT is support for you.  Those that camp out all night in the cold London rain to be first in line when they hand out bracelets?  THAT is true fandom.

I decided to give the 2010 Baftas a whirl (no, I did not camp out).  Held at Covent Garden’s Royal Opera House in February, the British Academy of Film and Television Awards united the best of Brit screen culture, with a bunch of Americans tossed in for good measure.  Actors, presenters, royalty…I was in love.  But all the photographs/autographs/handshaking aside, the 8 hours leading up to the event was half the fun.  I went solo and met the best, most random people, all of us united by our love for Kate Winslet/Vanessa Redgrave/George Clooney.

“Hold it still, I need to look my best for George,” Chris stressed lightheartedly as someone held a compact mirror for her.  We were back in waiting mode for the second time that day, now lined up to be let into the pens in vague numerical order by wristband.  The Brits actually had a good system for keeping order, though I don’t have the experience to compare it to L.A.

For the three hours before waiting in that line, I’d wandered around the relatively small Covent Garden market area with two new friends.  We ate these giant crepes folded into styrofoam cups with forks while contemplating a) why they were in a cup and b) how we were supposed to use a fork!  We watched street performers and hunted for a cheap notebook.  It was the art of stalling, but we were amateurs compared to the many who never budged from their spots.

For the three hours after we were let in, we stood our ground one row back from the red carpet…anticipation climbing…excitement mounting…feet hurting.  All that waiting and patience by the people who love the people who make the movies is what makes the event interesting.  We created the atmosphere of the Baftas.  Same goes for the Oscars, the Golden Globes, the Emmys.  What audience wants to watch a telecast without the buzz of fans in the background?  Wouldn’t celebrities be bored by a red carpet where the only noise is the clicks of the camera flashes?

Sadly, George didn’t show that night.  But even his absence couldn’t put a damper on our afternoon in the trenches.  The whole day was an odd twist of hard work paying off!

(Courtney is studying at the Ithaca College London Centre this semester.  She’s living in Earls Court and plans to see as much of London on foot as she can.)

Life Savers

by Katelyn Quast

When you’re young, older people try to be politically correct around you and shield you from the “bad” things in the world.  But really, we all see it, regardless of the age.  I’m going to be in my 20’s soon and I think about my teenage years a lot now.  I have a 14 year old sister and more than anything, I don’t want her to live my mistakes as a teenager.  I don’t want any teenager to live it really.  This is my story about how the love of one person, helped me get to my 20’s.

I never went to church before middle school, but I started going to church because of a friend and because it was a boost to my social status.  How pathetic a reason is that?  But anyway, adjusting to middle school was hard on me.  My supposed best friend started getting new friends and ditching me at every chance she got.  She herself lost a ton of weight and started obsessing over her body about how it wasn’t skinny enough.  I am not skinny by any means.  I’m quite plump actually and have been all my life.  Her obsession with her body started affecting me along with the constant rejection from my only friend and feeling like an outsider everywhere, started affecting me in every way possible.

In April of that year, I went on a trip with my mom and grandmother.  An argument with my mom led me to a breaking point.  I was about to jump of the proverbial cliff and do the one thing you can’t take back when something stopped me.  At the time, I had no idea what stopped me.  It was just this nagging feeling that this wasn’t the thing to do.

I learned a month later what that nagging feeling was.  A guest speaker came to my youth group and like every Wednesday, I was there, listening.  No one around me knew what had happened.  I hadn’t told a soul, and there was no way this guy knew what I had almost done.  But God did.  The man started speaking about how short life is and how we can’t afford not to face reality and start a relationship with God.  It was like he was talking straight to me.  That night I accepted Christ into my heart.

However, the story doesn’t end there.  The acceptance allowed me to realize I’m worth something and helped me make friends.  God knew that there was more to me and to my story than that one night.  The new friends became my accountability and I was able to open up to them about my depression and suicide thoughts.

Life was definitely better afterwards and I felt loved by God and people.  The hardest thing I did after that was to open up about everything that had happened.  I was super nervous about it, but I felt God was supporting this decision full-heartedly.  Again, I didn’t understand it.

But a few years later, it really occurred to me why I needed to do it.  I felt myself slipping back into that darkness that consumed me before.  I felt it, but I didn’t have the heart to do anything about it.  I slowly changed who I was and it wasn’t for the better.  I stopped caring about school, church, and friends; alienating myself in every possible way.  The friends that I had opened up to noticed the change and started reaching out to me, allowing my parents to notice.  My parents faced reality themselves and got me to the doctor to get prescribed for antidepressants.

It sounds like an easy fix, but it wasn’t.  The antidepressants helped me but it took God pushing me to try to live my life while on them for me to get back to a “normal” life.  God saved me from myself.  I would have destroyed myself if it hadn’t been for Him and the people He placed in my life.  He’s my lifesaver in more ways than one and He can be yours too.

The Eye of the Tigar: spotlight on young editor, Lindsay A. Tigar

She’s young, fashionable and so New York. With nothing more than a small savings she’s earned since she was 15, a suit case filled with hope, and a one-way ticket to JFK, Lindsay A. Tigar packed up her life (and favorite pairs of heels) to move to the city of dreams and fresh starts.

While many people her age are worried about getting an internship or finding their first job right out of college, this 21-year-old  is already working on hers as the Editor-at-Large for ChickSpeak.com. A popular online woman’s magazine, ChickSpeak acts as a weekly outlet for college-aged  women to seek advice, find inspiration and build community. While currently pursuing her lifelong dreams in New York, Tigar still has time to manage ChickSpeak and even spare a few moments to share her secrets to success with RCG Mag!

RCG Mag: How did you get involved with ChickSpeak (www.chickspeak.com) and how did it ultimately end up falling under your control?

Lindsay A. Tigar: While I was in college, I worked at the campus newspaper, The Appalachian at Appalachian State University as the Lifestyles Editor one year. It was my responsibility to check the newspaper’s e-mail account for press releases that pertained to entertainment, lifestyle or human interest. I received an e-mail about ChickSpeak in 2007 and responded to request more information. I eventually chatted with our founder, and she offered me a writing position for the “Relationships” section of ChickSpeak.

Earlier this year, in April, the founder approached me with the idea of becoming the editor for the site. Her life had taken a different turn and she didn’t want to see all of the work and progress of ChickSpeak  go to waste. While the position was (and is) unpaid, it is a great learning experience about how to manage a staff and promote a publication, so I gladly accepted.

Also, I saw the Editor-at-Large position as a great opportunity to expand on what ChickSpeak  believes in: big dreams, strong morals and success in the world. I truly believe young women are the voice of tomorrow, and I knew if I accepted the editor position, I could work hard to make ChickSpeak   an outlet and incredible reference for budding beautiful ladies!

R: What’s it been like being an editor of an online site such as ChickSpeak (www.chickspeak.com)  at such a young age? What are your responsibilities?

L: It’s the best of both worlds: I love editing and writing, but it’s stressful to manage not only writers, but photographers, partnerships with other online magazines, website upkeep and troubleshooting. It takes a lot of time to keep everything together and stay organized. I wish I could spend more time training and meeting with the writers, but because it is an online publication, most of the writers I’ve never met! It’s great to see such brilliant pieces from people I’ve only spoken to on the phone or e-mailed with. I’m so inspired by the talents of each of the writers on staff.

My responsibilities include managing and hiring writers, editing articles and publishing and formatting articles online. I also am in charge of creating and maintaining partnerships with other online magazines with similar readerships and website management.

I also work with columnists, a new addition to the perks of ChickSpeak. We have columns that cover everything from pregnancy, marriage and fashion advice to fitness, astrology and art.

Recently, I hired a Social Media Manager, Jasmin Charters, who manages all of the social media outlets for ChickSpeak, including Twitter , Facebook and Tumblr. Please follow us!

R: Have there been any difficulties or obstacles you’ve had to face?

L: With any publication or leadership position, it’s natural to face difficulties. With ChickSpeak, I want to make sure the publication stays a source of uplifting information that is inspiring and full of lots of rich voices and opinions. As I mentioned before, our mission statement is to “inspire big dreams, strong morals and success in the world,” and it’s my personal goal to make sure all articles reflect that mentality. Part of the difficulty sometimes, is getting everyone on the same page and being a friendly editor while also making sure my job is complete and efficient. I try to come up with creative ways to turn articles or steer writers in a direction that fits ChickSpeak’s mission and prospective.

It’s also been difficult to keep up with my own writing! I’ve found editing a bunch of articles sometimes kills my motivation to write, sometimes! However, I pushed myself to start a From the Editor’s Desk column that’s weekly, so I’m forced to write something for the week.

However, at the end of the day, ChickSpeak has been more pleasure and a learning experience than a job that feels mundane or difficult.

R: Where do you get your drive from? What got you into journalism and magazines to begin with and what have you accomplished so far?

L: My drive comes from passion. While it sounds cliché, I’ve always been a go-getter and I’ve been lucky enough to know what I was put on this planet to do from an early age. I sincerely want to inspire, uplift and help women through the written word, and I’ve dedicated my complete drive and mindset towards accomplishing that goal. ChickSpeak  has been the pinnacle of my success so far, and I’m so thankful I was given this opportunity.

I first became interested in journalism when I was five years old and my mother bought me a Playschool Recorder. I interviewed party guests, my neighbors and just about anyone who would talk to me. I used to bring it with me to the grocery store and talk to strangers. Once I finished interviews, I would go home and create a story, bound by string, and present it to my parents. While my readership wasn’t very large (mainly my parents and neighbors), my intentions were sincere and heartfelt.

I decided I wanted to become a magazine journalist when I was in middle school and first became exposed to women’s magazines. I begged for a J-14 , even when I wasn’t 14, and eventually, my mother gave in and bought Teen People, Teen Vogue and J-14 for me when we went to the grocery store. I would go home and make marks all over the pages, critiquing them and coming up with ideas or putting stars next to articles or pictures I liked.

Over the last five years, I’ve held internships at various newspapers and magazines, including Cosmopolitan magazine in New York and Sophie magazine in Asheville, N.C. I took part in a blogging opportunity for Seventeen.com through Seventeen’s annual Acne Skin Clinic, and I currently freelance for Engagement 101 Magazine and The Beauty Bean , in addition to ChickSpeak.

I’m in search of my first entry-level position into publishing in New York currently, and moved to the city with a one-way ticket to JFK this past month with nothing but a suitcase and a dream. If anyone has openings and is reading this, please e-mail me!

R: What’s been your most rewarding moment with ChickSpeak?

L: One morning, as I was checking my e-mail and responding to inquiries and writers when I came across an e-mail from a young woman at a university who thanked me and the ChickSpeak   staff for creating such an incredible magazine that gives her a daily dose of information and inspiration. She talked about how she had been looking for something to check every day that would give her news she wanted to read and something to look forward to that was up her ally, and ChickSpeak was it for her.

It was so nice to hear that our mission statement was actually being accomplished and within our readership. Sometimes when I’m having a rough day, I go back and read that e-mail to gain some enthusiasm and keep moving forward.

R: Why is ChickSpeak  special or important to you?

L: The position of Editor-at-Large came at a very shaky time in my life. I had missed writing for ChickSpeak  because the site had been on a hiatus for a few months, and I wasn’t chosen for a position at the student newspaper that I badly wanted, and while I was offered an additional internship in New York, I couldn’t take it due to financial reasons. I was feeling incredibly loss in my career and was convinced everything I had worked so hard for was falling apart before my eyes, and I couldn’t stop it.

I called the founder to check up on her to see if I could e-mail her some articles for ChickSpeak, and within a few days, she approached me with the idea of Editor-at-Large. In many ways, ChickSpeak  renewed my faith in women’s publications, in myself, in my career and in what my future holds. I hope the site gives every young woman the drive to succeed and a sincere confidence in themselves, just as it has given me.

R: How can other young women get involved in the site?

L: We are always accepting applications for writers and photographers! While the positions are unpaid, they provide great experience and clips. Generally, we hire college-aged women or recent grads. Writers write for two sections and submit articles and ideas once a week. While experience is encouraged, it is not necessary.

Those interested can e-mail me their resume at chickspeak.editor@gmail.com.

Also, if you’d like to just submit any question you have about anything –from fashion and fitness to relationships and career, you can be included in the new Ask the Chicks column. E-mail us at chickspeak.editor@gmail.com.

R: What advice would you give to others who aspire to break into journalism, magazines or online media?

L: Put on your stilettos and start stomping down the runway towards your dreams! The industry doesn’t wait for you to be ready –it keeps going with or without your consent and it’s up to you to keep up. If you want to be a magazine editor, start stalking Ed2010 and MediaBistro. Get experience in New York or L.A., not just your hometown’s newspaper or magazine. Perfect your resume and your cover letter. Keep in contact with editors who turn you down, e-mail you back or the ones you intern with. Always have your eyes and ears alert to who you are talking to –networking is essential. Make personal business cards and always have them handy. Look at every opportunity as THE opportunity. All experience is good experience.

And most importantly, listen to your heart and gut. They give better advice than any friend, article, mentor or expert. You know you and what you’re capable of more than anyone.

R: Where do you see your personal future going?

L: I moved to  New York on savings, Ramen noodles and educated (not blind) ambition.  A small part of me is completely terrified (I’ll admit it), but most of me is so ready to start this new stage in my life. Through ChickSpeak, I’ve met some incredible women that are helping me along the way, including a nice futon to stay on, and a wonderful mentor who listens to my every worry or fear. I know I will find a job that will suit me and I will enjoy and succeed in. I sincerely hope I’ll be able to keep ChickSpeak as a big part of my life and one day we’ll be able to expand.

I plan on staying in New York for a long time and to establish myself as an editor for a major publication, book publicity or publishing house, public relations company or online medium. I’m also writing a book (who isn’t), and I would love for it to become a best seller! I really look forward to the day where I live in New York, have a steady and paying (imagine that) job and have some sort of a normalcy to my life. I want to actually make New York a home, not just this dream location I’ve always wanted to live in.

And like any woman, I hope my future holds the presence of a wonderful man that I will share my life with. Through all the ups and downs, blunders and beauty of dating –I still have faith in finding The One, and can only hope he is looking for me and wishing for me as much as I am for him. And one day, many, many years from now, I want to have children and a little bakery on the corner.
R: What does the future hold for ChickSpeak?

L: So much is ahead for ChickSpeak! We’re in the works of creating even more partnerships with companies, online magazines and other organizations that have similar goals. The founder and I are working towards building ChickSpeak’s  readership through online mediums and providing even more content and expansion of ideas and articles.

We have the following new columns we encourage readers to follow weekly:

The Young & the Pregnant (http://chickspeak.com/blog/2010/01/25/the-young-the-pregnant-everything-out-in-the-open/)

Engagement 101 (http://chickspeak.com/blog/2010/01/28/engagement-101-its-my-party-ill-cry-if-i-want-to/)

Beyond the Honeymoon (http://chickspeak.com/blog/2010/01/26/beyond-the-honeymoon-what-happens-after-the-wedding/)

Art & Thought (http://chickspeak.com/blog/2010/01/17/art-thought-american-stories-paintings-of-everyday-life-1765-1915/)

The Traveling Sage (http://chickspeak.com/blog/2010/01/29/the-traveling-sage-how-do-you-express-yourself/)

From the Editor’s Desk (http://chickspeak.com/blog/2010/01/13/from-the-editors-desk-past-relationships-help-shape-the-love-to-come/)

Of course, check us out on Twitter and on Facebook.

Most importantly, I want ChickSpeak to continue to be a forum for young women to voice their opinions, obtain inspiration and information to lead successful, beautiful lives with confidence and compassion. In the future, I would love to hold conferences where young women can attend and hear from powerhouse speakers and meet with other ladies with their same goals and mindset.

Overall, I just want ChickSpeak to continue to grow in whatever capacity is best for our readers.

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